Quarter Life Crisis...

Since I turned the tender age of 24 this past October, I am convinced that I am going through a quarter-life crisis. Where did I picture myself at 24? Am I anywhere close?

How am I supposed to act at this “in-between” age? Some of my friends are married and others are content with random hook-ups, cringing at the hint of settling down. All of my friends have completed Undergrad, even those that we thought would never be done. A lot of friends are on the cusp of completing Graduate or Law school or have held one or two “real” jobs.

I am content with “night out” consisting of a drink with another couple at a nice restaurant. But still regularly partake in shit-shows, involving multiple shots, drinking games, crazy dancing and culminating in greasy food at a 24-hour diner. At 24, are we really grown-ups or still irresponsible 20-somethings clinging to the college lifestyle for dear life?

Is this really where I thought I’d be at 24? Am I supposed to be living at home with my parents? Working at an advertising agency in the town where I grew up? Living 400 miles away from my boyfriend of 4 years? Lacking a nearby close-knit group of girlfriends?

Where did I see myself at 24 in my youth?

At age 10, my 24-year-old self was an accomplished novelist working on her 3rd or 4th book. I would be living in New York or England off royalties from my novels and bashing around town with my friends in sophisticated outfits. I would return home late to my doting and successful husband. because at the ripe old age of 24, I would definitely be married.

At 13, after realizing the hardship faced by many young writers, I decided that being a novelist wasn’t a lucrative career and designer for a fashion magazine would be much more glamorous and fitting. I pictured myself bent over a large table filled layouts, doodles and designs for a spread in an upcoming edition of a prestigious fashion magazine. I’d be working late into the night with other artists and designers, taking a break to order Chinese food, happy to have a boyfriend who understood that my work was very important to me.

At 16, I decided the perfect career would combine writing and design. I pictured my 24-year-old self in a charcoal grey skirt-suit striding boldly down the streets of New York City toward my office where I worked long, but rewarding, hours as an associate editor of a respectable national magazine. After a busy day at work, I would return home to my chic apartment that I shared with close girl friends. In my successful and fast-paced lifestyle, I had no time or need for a boyfriend.

At age 18, after exposure to fellow Mizzou journalism majors, I realized that they annoyed the hell out of me and I learned the realities of the lowly journalist salary, so a career as an associate editor was nixed. At 24, I would instead be an ad designer for a large advertising agency in Chicago or St. Louis. As an attractive and successful woman, I would be engaged to an equally successful and attractive businessman who could afford a nice rock. Naturally my college friends would be close by, I couldn’t imagine a week going by without seeing them.

At 21, I decided that my Photoshop skills and ad designs lagged behind some of my classmate’s, so advertising account management would be a better career fit. But 24 was so far away that I couldn’t imagine where I’d be, who I’d work for or what exactly I’d be doing. All I knew was that I would be something great, be somewhere exciting and lead a very active life because I wouldn’t settle for anything less. I hoped my current boyfriend and I would still be together, but I wouldn’t let our relationship hold me back from my career goals.

Even a year ago from now, I hoped things would be different, that I would be much more accomplished and have more to show for my hard work, passion and drive.

My accomplishments seem to pale in comparison to those young Hollywood actresses who have started their own charity, already made three movies and are working on their first album. But on the other hand, some of these same actresses have already been divorced, sent to rehab, spent time in jail, publically embarrassed by their families or become a distant memory.

My life seems so far behind when I read about times past when an unmarried 24-year-old woman would practically be considered a spinster. At 24, most women would be married with kids, have traveled the world, run a household and be involved in important aspects of society. But at the same time, these women weren’t able to have a career or the freedom to continue education past secondary school.

So, rather than focusing on where I once saw myself and what I haven’t done, maybe a more important question to ask is am I happy with where I am? I know my life isn’t perfect, but am I working toward my goals? If not, what can I do to change?

At this point, I am not entirely sure that I know the answer to those questions. However, I do know that I’m not getting any younger and should constantly challenge and enjoy myself. I don’t know if I’m ready to become a “Yes Man” like Jim Carey, but I do think this quarter life crisis could actually be a good thing.

It could force me to think about my life, appreciate the little things and change my attitude. It could also force me to take risks and confront challenging situations. So I will continue with my quarter-life crisis and hopefully find some answers by the time I turn 25. And then realize that I have no clue what it means to be 25 and if it lives up to my expectations.