On the 12th Day of Christmas...

... the pub crawl gave to me, 12 drunken Santas, 11 bars in Wrigleyville, 10 dancing Reindeer, 9 dollars left after a round of, 8 dollar shots, 7 ugly sweaters, 6 slutty elfs, (at least) 5 trips to the bathroom, 4 drunken texts, 3 spilled drinks, 2 beers in hand and 1 glorious shot of Petrone!

This past weekend I accomplished TWO of my “10 Things I Plan To Do In Chicago Over the Holidays”… I feel so productive! Although to be fair, one of the events involved me drinking all day so I guess I shouldn’t feel THAT productive…

#1 Drink myself silly at the “12 Bars of Christmas” in Wrigleyville.

This past Saturday, I participated in the 12 Bars of Christmas pub crawl in Wrigleyville and it was an amazing experience! I have Jill to thank for suggesting this wonderful event and Jenny to thank for letting me crash at her place so I didn’t have to worry about making it back to Naperville! I definitely encourage you to participate with a group and wear really fun costumes! (My red sweater and reindeer antlers paled in comparison to many of the costumes I spotted throughout the day).

This year, they sold out of all 6,000 tickets and while it did rain in the evening, we were blessed with 30-something degree weather (a rarity in Chicago especially considering today’s high is 14 degrees with -10 degree windchill). There are so many topics I can write about, but I will devote this post to a list of creative costumes!

1. The Abominable Snowman (from the claymation Rudolph cartoon) – the costume consisted of cotton snow glued to a sweat suit.

2. Gingerbread Clan – a group of 8 girls wore brown velour track suits with painted “icing” on the sleeves & a slogan on the back “Drink, Drink as fast as you can, you can’t catch up with the Gingerbread Clan”.

3. A group of guys in red Christmas sweaters carrying a small live Christmas tree – I asked and they had to check the tree at the door at every bar.

4. A lump of coal – no joke this girl was in a big black plastic bag stuffed with newspaper.

5. A gift bag – a girl bought a giant gift bag and wore it as a dress by using the straps as sleeves and cutting out the bottom & wore leggings and a turtle neck underneath.

6. A slutty elf- not sure WHERE she got these boots but they are definitely worth mentioning. Her boots were green suede stilettos with the pointy, curly elf toes.

7. A slutty female cop – not sure how that fits into Christmas but thought she deserved a mention.

8. 80s skier – a guy was wearing a tight, bright purple ski suit from the 1980s that was definitely designed for a smaller individual…

9. A Christmas tree with blinking Christmas tree lights.

#3 Pick out a live tree with my family.

Not much of note to mention about the “hunt” for the perfect tree since we went to a pre-cut sale by the local Boy Scouts that only offered one variety of tree and less than 100 trees to choose from. In my opinion, that’s the best kind of hunt there is, we found a tree quickly and the work was done for us while I waited in the heated car! It is currently sitting in our living room strung only with blue lights and no presents underneath… hopefully that’ll change before Christmas!

Santa Baby...

I want a yacht and really that’s not a lot… Okay so I don’t really want a yacht per say but here are some big ticket items that I wish Santa would leave under (or next to) the tree on Christmas morning.

1. Britney Spears Tickets – I don’t care if she shaved her head or is a horrible Mom… it’s Britney, bitch and she’s back!
2. A Caribbean Cruise – it’s freaking cold already in Chi-town and it’s only December… I don’t think I can handle another 2.5 months!
3. A condo in the city and with rent paid for a year – as much as I love my parents, it’s getting kind of old and frankly, so am I.
4. A day at a nice spa - complete with manicure, full body message, hot tub, etc.
5. A job in 2009 – I’m seriously getting worried considering the bailout is stuck in Congress…
6. Lasik surgery – my vision isn’t bad enough to wear contacts all the time and I get annoyed dealing with my glasses (especially in bars).
7. A parking spot in Lincoln Park – taking the train or finding parking is SUCH a hassle sometimes (especially if I miss the train by 5 seconds!) and since I go in 1-2 times every 2 weeks it would be worth it!
8. MBA Program paid for – I mean loans are nice but I will eventually have to pay them back…
9. A private jet – so I can go visit Justin for a day whenever I want!
10. Everything at Target – I seriously can’t leave the place without spending at least $75 and I’ve had to cut myself off from even going.

Combat Bleak Weather With Words of Holiday Wisdom...

If you are in Chicago (and many other areas of the Midwest), the weather outside is certainly frightful with pouring rain turning into snow today and tomorrow. On top of that, all the negative news about the economy and unseasonably cold temperatures may mean you are far from being in the holiday spirit (I know this morning I was a little grumpy).
What better way to get in the holiday spirit than listen to Christmas music and read some great holiday quotes? So to help you get in the spirit of the season at work or at school today, put on your headphones, crank up the holiday music and read my compilation of great holiday quotes – both heartwarming and humorous!
1. Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given--when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes." ~ Joan Winmill Brown, American author and editor.
2. At Christmas, all roads lead home. ~ Marjorie Holmes, American writer.
3. Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice ~Dave Barry
4. The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. ~P. J. O'Rourke
5. Even as an adult I find it difficult to sleep on Christmas Eve. Yuletide excitement is a potent caffeine, no matter your age. ~Carrie Latet
6. “The giving of gifts is not something man invented. God started the giving spree when he gave a gift beyond words, the unspeakable gift of His Son.” ~Robert Flatt
7. There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them. ~P.J. O'Rourke
8. The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. ~Jay Leno
9. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exists, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. ~Charles Dana, editorial in the New York Sun, 1897, responding to a letter from 8-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon
10. Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~Dennis Miller
11. As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same. ~Donald E. Westlake
12. At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year. ~Thomas Tusser
13. "Christmas is not a date. It is a state of mind." ~Mary Ellen Chase

Make Like a Bear And Hibernate On Winter Weekends

Would you rather snuggle under the covers and watch a movie than go to that holiday party hosted by your second cousin’s ex-wife? Or bake cookies with your roommate than battle the lines at the mall?

Here are some reasons why it’s okay to become a hermit for an entire weekend (or two) during the winter. (Maybe it’s more of a personal validation for my laziness, but feel free to use these excuses in your own personal validations...)

1. Save your skin and hair – avoid the drying winter wind, give your face a break from make-up, try a rejuvenating facemask, give your hair a few days off from the straightener and curling iron.

2. Clean out your cupboard, refrigerator and freezer – eat that can of soup that you bought 3 months ago, eat the leftovers from yesterday’s dinner out rather than throw them away, eat the rest of the week’s groceries before they go bad.

3. Work on all the projects you’ve been putting off for the past several months – file the pile of papers on your desk, do a deep clean of your apartment/room, do that laundry that’s been piling up.

4. Save money for Christmas presents – put the money you’ll save on gas/transportation, eating out, going out and shopping toward Christmas presents for family and friends (or to make a credit card payment or bill).

5. Get in the holiday spirit – listen to Christmas music, make holiday cards, watch holiday movies/ specials, bake cookies, decorate your house/apt.

6. Catch up with family & friends – have quality roommate bonding time, if you live at home spend time with your family, call friends and family members that you haven’t talked to in awhile, email or send Christmas cards to family & friends.

7. Relax! – take a long bath, catch up on sleep, read a book, catch up on your favorite TV shows online, lay around and don’t feel guilty about it!

8. Avoid getting sick – stay out of the brutal winter weather, keep away from other sick friends and strangers, build up your immune system by catching up on sleep and eating healthy.

9. Stay in shape – avoid the extra calories from a night out (both alcohol and drunk food), break out those old kickboxing and pilates tapes, do sit-ups or free weights, or be too lazy to get up off the couch and cook.

10. Make or personalize gifts – bake cookies, knit a scarf, decorate a set of greeting cards, paint a picture frame, make a collage or scrapbook.

It’s Okay to be Cheap This Holiday Season…

The holidays are quickly approaching and you find yourself strapped for time and cash this year. So what can you do to get in the holiday spirit? Try one (or all) of the quick, cheap and easy ways to get in the holiday spirit! I am too!

1.     Make your own Christmas cards instead of buying them. Whenever you have a few minutes here or there, cut out holiday words and pictures from magazines, catalogs or ads. Set aside 1-2 hours to glue the clippings on colored paper & write a quick note. 

2. Write a letter to a recovering American soldier with a simple message about how you appreciate their service, hope for a quick recovery and have a happy holiday. Write to: Holiday Mail for Heroes/ P.O. Box 5456/ Capitol Heights, MD. 20791-5456. All cards must be postmarked no later than Dec. 10. For more information, visit: http://www.redcross.org/email/saf/

3. Bake cookies as a gift for family/friends or treat for your office party. Betty Crocker cookie packets are only $1.50 at most grocery stores, require only 2-4 additional ingredients and take 20-45 minutes to make and bake! There are many varieties to choose from - the oatmeal (add in raisins) and chocolate chip are my favorites! http://www.bettycrocker.com/products/cookies/Cookies-Landing-Page.htm

4. Dig up last year’s ribbon, wrapping paper scraps and holiday cards and use them to quickly decorate your office (or cube). 

5. Donate a toy to Toys for Tots, Walmart has several toys under $10. Or donate canned goods to a local food shelter. Look online or in a newspaper for local collection centers. 

6. As part of your office holiday festivities or holiday party, invite co-workers/guests to bring in a canned good or toiletry item for a local food bank and drop off the goods during lunch or after work. 

7. Organize an ugly Christmas sweater day at work or plan an “ugly Christmas sweater” happy hour with friends. Tacky Christmas sweaters, shirts and jewelry are all encouraged. Find tacky sweaters your local Goodwill or your parent’s basement.

8. Take a “tour” of local holiday decorations by taking a drive through a neighborhood or take a walk downtown one evening with friends. 

9. If you don’t have the cash to mail holiday cards this year, send friends and family a holiday email or e-card. Make the email or e-card more personal, by including a message specific to each recipient. http://www.americangreetings.com/

10. Listen to commercial-free holiday music on Pandora radio. Go to www. And click on the button for holiday music and you can choose from several “stations” based on your music tastes. http://www.pandora.com/?cmd=indexmini

#10 down, 9 more to go on my Holiday To Do!

In past years, it was like nails on a chalkboard hearing Christmas music more than a week before Dec. 25 and I always rolled my eyes at those people who put up their decorations on Dec. 1. But this year I decided to put my Grinchy attitude aside and give the whole “Christmas Spirit” thing a try. And check off my first “10 Things I Plan To Do in Chicago Over the Holidays” item:

#10. Start listening to Christmas music & decorating on Dec. 1 to take full advantage of the holiday season.

After returning home from my trip to Kansas City for Thanksgiving, I convinced my mom to help me decorate the house for Christmas. I tried to push aside the slowly forming sinus headache from dusty shelves and musty boxes and focus on the cute faces of the snowmen decorations. It was nice to be able to decorate so far in advance rather than in the past 5 years, when after returning home from Missouri I realized that I had to fit all my pre-Christmas activities (including helping decorate the house) into three days. And unlike high school, I no longer had to worry about impending finals or school holiday activities that left me with no time for holiday cheer, let alone helping my parents decorate the house.

Despite the fact that I abhor the cold weather & scraping snow and ice off my car, the Dec. 1 snowfall brought visions of a white Christmas and actually put me in the holiday spirit. So on Monday, I decided to take the leap and decorate my office cube for the holiday. I have to admit seeing Horace the singing abominable snowman brings a smile to my face as I remember the holiday bash at Buttonwood and decorating the apartment in St. Louis last year.

Since the morning show DJs at my favorite radio station just got canned and the temporary DJ isn’t that great, it gives me a great excuse to listen to Christmas music on Lite FM on the way to work in the morning. I think because of my new attitude, the music is no longer grating on my ears.

So far, I’ve managed to stave off my Scrooge and Grinch-like tendencies and am truly in the Christmas spirit!

Celebrating the Season in Chi-Town

Although I have lived in the Chicago area for most of my life, I haven’t taken advantage of all the festivities offered around the holiday season either because I wasn’t old enough, it was too cold or my parents weren’t interested.

In the past couple of years, I have forced myself to brave the Chicago winters to join some friends in Chicago holiday traditions, such as enjoying a cocktail in Marshall Fields’ Walnut room (before it was bought by Macys) and shuffling through the German Christkindl Market in Daley Plaza.

However, there are still many holiday events in Chicago that I have yet to experience and traditions that I want to continue! I plan to check off every item on the top 10 list below and will write a blog post about each experience to get in the Christmas spirit!

10 Things I Plan To Do in Chicago Over the Holidays
1. Drink myself silly at the “12 Bars of Christmas” in Wrigleyville. http://www.shopfesta.com/tbox2008/12_bars_of_xmas_twelve_bars_of_christmas_pub_crawl_in_chicago.htm
2. Go ice-skating outside. http://chicago.metromix.com/leisure/recreation_facilities/mccormick-tribune-ice-rink-grant-park-museums/143869/content
3. Pick out a live tree with my family.
4. Celebrate New Year’s Eve with my boyfriend downtown.
5. See the Second City Dysfunctional Holiday Review. http://www.secondcity.com/?id=touring/theatricals/dysfunctional
6. Do something girly in the city with my mom.
7. Attend a dinner party in the city.
8. Go to Walnut Room in Macy’s with friends to continue our tradition. http://chicago.metromix.com/restaurants/traditional_classic/walnut-room-loop/137033/content
9. Christmas shopping on the Magnificent Mile.
10. Start listening to Christmas music & decorating on Dec. 1 to take full advantage of the holiday season.